Happy. Divorced. Facebook. Holidays.

“Happy. Divorced. Holidays.”  These words don’t usually go together.  For many, it’s more like “Tension. Divorced. Holidays” right? And what does Facebook have to do with the holidays and divorce and being happy? Stick with me here …

Let’s start with “Happy. Divorced. Holidays.” If I had been divorced before Facebook, like my aunt in the 1980’s, no one would really know if my holidays were happy or not. My aunt’s close friends probably knew. My father (her brother) might have known. She kept her head up and a smile on her face for her children. She got through the holidays and enjoyed them to the best of her ability.

Happy Divorced Holidays

Now, let’s take “happy” out and just look at “Divorced. Facebook. Holidays.” Had Facebook been around the first couple of years of my divorce, I would have been silent through the holidays – I was far too concerned with just trying to the get through those first years and making the holidays “normal” for my young sons. In other words, I was just like my aunt, trying to put my best face forward.

Now, jump forward ten years to this hyper-connected world in which we live.  For many of us, Facebook comes right after we have pressed the button on our coffee maker – we have to catch up on our world.  And, this time of year, I, like many of my friends, our posting pictures of kids’ holiday concerts, our “best ever” Christmas tree, unique gift finds, basically all happy, good stuff – I certainly don’t show my messy house! I don’t seeing anyone talk about their divorce this past year or the challenges of creating a “normal” holiday season when they still don’t feel normal yet.

This year enjoy and comment on what your friends post on Facebook but look a bit further, too. Is there someone in all of those connections that could use a phone call or a personal note?  Maybe an invitation to go out for a drink because their kids are with the other parent and they aren’t used to a holiday season alone?

May you enjoy this sacred season and all its traditions, both new and old – whether you FB or not. “Happy. Holidays.”

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